It’s eight minute to midnight of Sunday July twenty ninth of two thousand eighteen and too much things going on, but I’m doing well while I can not understand how.

I change my job and new job is tough for me. I am professional fundraiser now which I always love to be a part of fundraising for a charity. people get help from them; people help people from them; I am not work for them; however, I am the connection of the power of helping in a half capitalism country. For sure I’m a seller, but I sell kindness to people. While people buy kindness and donate to a charity for helping their target people, I smile and feel I made that money for those people.

Also something is wrong in my life and I know what is it, but explain that is too hard. I need more time and energy to fix it or I need to fight it. In these couple days I have to chose. Fight against a things doesn’t means we going to fix that because there is a possibility of losing. On the other hand, when we want to fix something with deep analyses, then we will be the master of that situation who control everything. In a battle there is violence, damage, suffering, getting hurt. I survive all of my life and I am not scare to get hurt; however, I am smart enough to understand when, where and how should I fight or fix.

Now after writing this I can understand why I am doing well: life experience. Did I say I will telling you my stories? well, sorry for late. I was too busy as always here in Toronto, but I promise next week I will write the first post. pop in soon folk.

It’s one and sixteen AM of Wednesday June thirteenth of two thousand eighteen and I’m writing when a playlist from Spotify named Deep Sleeping is suppose to falling me in deep sleeping. While I’m writing this, coughing of a small cold in my body that go and back this last seven day. The central AC is like my cold: on and off; keep my room cold as my body. Also, I am thinking about five new plans in this summer: diet, gym, financial, education and working plan. I will finish my last shift at current job this Friday and I am going to change my field to something totally different after tree month that I been became a vegetarian.

I stopped while I was in meddle of my planing and thought about my memories that how dramatic is. Then I thought about my blog, this blog. Many of posts are about this dramatic events in my life and many of them written on the posts named in Persian “Alaan” which means right now. Thus, right now I’m writing about right now and the right now posts because I thought maybe I can share my life stories in English and in this blog.

I do not mind about who will read these posts because my blog readers comes from everywhere by google and they might read my posts from eight years ago or today,  so anyone at anytime are able to read my stories from this night to the end of my life.

I will write about how I found myself as a gay and made this blog. Before that, I should update or make new pentagon plans base on my favorite way which is answer to five question. What should I do? Why? How, where and when should I go? however it’s too late for now, so I’m going to bed.