Last week in my break I went to Tim Hortons to get a chocolate chip iced capp. After ordered, the Tim’s buddy came to say they finished the chocolate ship. I laughed and asked what do you have then? He said pumpkin spice iced capp which was the first time I heard that. While I grab it and tasted, I felt that day is the last day of summer.
It was a hot day and my coworker ask me to stay on sun because was with good traffic. I’m a street professional fundraiser and every day I am supposed to stop people; tell them who the charity is; what is the problem; how we going to fix it; how they can be part of solution. After all these have to handle them concern such as security objection. This is lots of work and under the sun I got tired, so I was looking for some frozen fresher drink to re-energize myself. While the frozen iced capp passed my throat, I felt my birthday is closer.
I born in September; first day of autumn. Back-home the calendar is based on solar and changing seasons are important as national historic holidays. Autumn was significant in Iran and celebrated because is the time for harvest. Like the pomegranate trees deliver the fruit as most of fruit will ripen. When my birthday arrives every year, I have same feeling about myself as a ripe fruit. Specially this September which I began college in English and have a job that I love it as my room in Little Italy. Finally after two years I feel I am going to settle myself here. I was looking for that feeling and see these days, and taste the pumpkin in frozen at summer gave me sense of the autumn is loading.
It’s 4:23 AM that I am still awake while tomorrow I have some room visiting appointment then work from 4:30 PM to afther midnight. Life became a stressful in these days what I am looking for a place to call it home. Therefore, it’s hard to sleep night by night when February going to finish in number 29 and 10 days left for leaving this place as my one and half year home.
I couldn’t find a place with all posetiv feel which usually I chose from this feeling, for anything selective. People mostly are not responding my contacts by any reasons or them room are not what I expect for living. Even these two last days I have been down to go somewhere by taking it easy than before than.
However, a point make me happy in this time: I can communicate with people who are offering me the rooms or bachelors. Before was hard to understand them as much as to find a right roomie with all my life experience. Thus, I want to keep myself optimist.
Now is 3:39 of Family Day morning and I listening to Will You Be There with my all hope in these ten days left. I have hope that in all my pain, a four wall room with a window can hold me, carry me, show me, and be there which my home in Turkey when I was refugee done that for myself. A safe, positive, hopeful place that I need.
Good and bad is everywhere, we should find it from inside. It depends to how we see it. I see beauty more than darkness while I came Canada.
I should be great full of all beauty that coast to coast has it and I am. I want be a person who Canada would proud of.
I want to say to myself, here, in our bar with all beauty and beast, that: I’ll be the best for you my new land.